it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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