So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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