woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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