Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
