i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
