I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
BRING THE BAGELS
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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