don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
