I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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