Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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