Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
