i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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