no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
