the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
