Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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