i need an iv and a liver transplant
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
