I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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