i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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