I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
handjob tips. give me some.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
