i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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