jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize