Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
