How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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