When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
