Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
