Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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