There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
