First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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