we have pet lesbian snakes
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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