Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i dont even know how to be here
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
