How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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