i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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