I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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