Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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