I'm going to jail i love you
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
