if i can run in heels then i can drive
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
