From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
