I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
