dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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