Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
