Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
