quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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