giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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