This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
