and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
