put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
