I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
