my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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