The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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