so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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