White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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