Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
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