it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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