Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
