Texts From Last Night

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  (254): View more from Texas

  Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.

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  (254): Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social. http://tfl.nu/292p
  Replies (5) Good night (2052) Bad night (529)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings

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  (901): oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass (901): fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings http://tfl.nu/b0u6
  Replies (118) Good night (4426) Bad night (1372)
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  (805): View more from California

  i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover

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  (805): i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover http://tfl.nu/9f4v
  Replies (12) Good night (4584) Bad night (557)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.

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  (765): I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings. http://tfl.nu/mgul
  Replies (26) Good night (9477) Bad night (1070)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...

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  (732): I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste... http://tfl.nu/n6mj
  Replies (12) Good night (3662) Bad night (655)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.

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  (919): Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required. http://tfl.nu/6ko6
  Replies (6) Good night (5065) Bad night (921)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor

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  (630): She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor http://tfl.nu/iwft
  Replies (7) Good night (2147) Bad night (979)
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  (661): View more from California

  I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight

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  (661): I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight http://tfl.nu/99ir
  Replies (11) Good night (2741) Bad night (859)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow

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  (908): almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/cscz
  Replies (13) Good night (4534) Bad night (882)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now

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  (403): Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now http://tfl.nu/l7gb
  Replies (11) Good night (3625) Bad night (1095)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"

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  (305): Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now" http://tfl.nu/z261
  Replies (6) Good night (2141) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.

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  (919): I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water. http://tfl.nu/3pkl
  Replies (1) Good night (766) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small

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  (425): My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small http://tfl.nu/0a34
  Replies (5) Good night (764) Bad night (244)
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  (818): View more from California

  Tell me how you feel about belly buttons

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  (818): Tell me how you feel about belly buttons http://tfl.nu/4apq
  Replies (3) Good night (386) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".

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  (440): My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted". http://tfl.nu/wdt8
  Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (169)

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