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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!

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• (936): View more from Texas

  im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  My mouth holds just enough water for my bong

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• (415): View more from California

  Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?

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• (516): View more from New York

  Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  fair point

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought

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• (925): View more from California

  I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Just high enough for therapy.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.

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• (916): View more from California

  Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?

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