dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run