Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.

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(314): I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt. http://tfl.nu/c3u1

Replies (4) Good night (755) Bad night (1009)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.

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(401): Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight. http://tfl.nu/8i8j

Replies (12) Good night (929) Bad night (3609)
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(928): View more from Arizona

This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.

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(928): This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/2tuo

Replies (15) Good night (1167) Bad night (3707)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....

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(717): I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday.... http://tfl.nu/1vhm

Replies (4) Good night (1778) Bad night (767)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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(609): I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything http://tfl.nu/1m1m

Replies (11) Good night (2165) Bad night (670)
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(517): View more from Michigan

i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?

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(517): i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother? http://tfl.nu/7lqg

Replies (8) Good night (2020) Bad night (1137)
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(559): View more from California

I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.

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(559): I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives. http://tfl.nu/x41u

Replies (6) Good night (1903) Bad night (737)
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(905): View more from Ontario

When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?

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(905): When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog? http://tfl.nu/u47g

Replies (7) Good night (637) Bad night (1492)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?

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(678): Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend? http://tfl.nu/mjnu

Replies (15) Good night (2139) Bad night (1064)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection

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(440): I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection http://tfl.nu/hamn

Replies (2) Good night (1290) Bad night (531)
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(646): View more from New York

The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help

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(646): The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help http://tfl.nu/rosq

Replies (6) Good night (537) Bad night (1107)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy

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(608): He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy http://tfl.nu/uss1

Replies (2) Good night (525) Bad night (926)
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(514): View more from Quebec

It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...

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(514): It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time... http://tfl.nu/8j5m

Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (363)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!

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(708): I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped! http://tfl.nu/5pnp

Replies (2) Good night (1016) Bad night (316)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.

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(720): Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you. http://tfl.nu/pvov

Replies (4) Good night (669) Bad night (149)

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