it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.