i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
