She is in my trunk
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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