He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
