i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
