i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
