4 words: hood of his car
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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