Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
