Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
