the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
there was a trapeze. enough said
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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