Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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