real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
